Namaste

Festivus was good, I managed to watch a christmas story several times and see my family. My baby nephew was sitting by himself and constantly stared at me while laughing. My gift for myself today was the hardest nap ever after work. I don't really know what to buy,  maybe I'll wait for the lines to die down.

Ryan: "When I was little I used to have these vcr games."

"It's either really corny or really depressing."

It's the day after Christmas and there is no snow to be seen. Honestly, I think this is a first for my lifetime. Boo, global warming... BOO!!

Christmas break has been wonderful so far. I just hate juggling various plans with various people. I always get confused and pissy and annoyed. But ti's worth it in the end when I get to see all of my loves once more <3
Michelle and I both really want to see Nine but the only theater showing it is GKC. And we both loathe that theater. We may have to face the demon, though, if we really do want to see Nine... Which we do...

Some alarming things have been revealed within my family over the past few days. I am scared for what will happen. Nervous, more so.

I just want it to snow so hard that I can't see ahead of me, so much snow that I'm scared to drive. I want so much snow that I could flop onto my back in it, and look around to see a foot of snow above and surrounding my little body.


Chinese food is calling me. Where shall I seek it out? Panda House seems worthy.

I hope everybody is fabulous. Pardon my lack of updates. I love you, LJ friends. <3


merry cwistmus... or whatever your poison for the season

"Oh, brother," I muttered to myself as I turned away. Sometimes you just feel like Charlie Brown but a real one, not a two-dimensional black-and-white line drawing. Such is the totality of the rejection of everything that is "you." It's all part of it, though. The natural healing process that seems to take forever while experiencing but is summed up by a dismissive "Yeah, that was a fucked-up time for me" once it's finally over and done with."

"Over five years have passed since that visit, but I remember it like it was an hour ago: the slams of her tiny fists against that ugly barrier, her instinctual rage against it--the state-made blockade raised under the rubric of security, her hot tears. They haunt me."

"One of the most quintessential features of theists is the tendency to proclaim knowledge of some divine metaphysical “reality” when in fact such knowledge is completely absent and at best one is functioning on intuition, but more likely socialization. In order to be an atheist one must not make claims to know what they do not know, they may simply assert that one does not believe in what is purely speculative. This flaw in perception is quite common to theists in that consistently, if you read some of the works of modern religious apologists, you will find that theists succumb to viewing atheism through the theistic prism, but there is an entire separate paradigm at work that makes any such assertions crucially flawed. Essentially, the rebuttal to such an argument would be that not all claims are equally meretricious. Religion has not the intellectual merit to stand on equal footing with doubt."

“The first man who, having enclosed a piece of ground, bethought himself of saying This is mine, and found people simple enough to believe him, was the real founder of civil society. From how many crimes, wars, and murders, from how many horrors and misfortunes might not any one have saved mankind, by pulling up the stakes, or filling up the ditch, and crying to his fellows: Beware of listening to this impostor; you are undone if you once forget that the fruits of the earth belong to us all, and the earth itself to nobody.”

p.s. my birthday is in a week.

Once upon a time I was told something and I worry often that something wasn't what they meant. What they really meant was as long as things are good between us we will be friends but when it gets hard and I get busy I won't see the importance of you any longer.
I must have REALY been out of my place for a while there because I feel like I blew it in my past.
"This wont be a (name cannot be said) situation, it's different. I wont just drop you" Well ya did.
I have my fingers crossed that things will get better and you will be my friend again someday.
Point proven I was worried about being trail mix or kool-aid. Whatever you want to call it.
CAUSE THAT DID RUIN IT ALL. If it hadn't happened we'd still be friends and we would each have each other to lean on.

This conversation we're having, this very moment, is crap. And I'm waiting for you to say something with substance... & you probably won't, & it'll probably trail off into nothing... & you'll probably make an excuse to leave... & I'll probably accept it & do the same. Because we can't just say, "IM SORRY. I MISS YOU."

My night has been so horror-movie.

I'm usually not up this late, I now exhibit sleep patterns akin to the elderly.
Let's see whats been new with me, uhmmm touche amore was good. Their set was excellent, they were all really nice dudes. Hanging out at metal frat was also really awesome, pancheros and street fighter.
Lately, I've just been hanging out with ryan and chris/going to work.
Can't wait for winter semester to start. I hate living here and like my sister I hope to be up to my neck in debt due to housing costs, school, etc.
I've been playing the video games every now and then but really am not into them like i used to be. Mostly book reading, but then when super sf Iv comes out I may have to loosen up the tie again.

I read david cross' new book and mumia abu jamal's first book last week.
I kind of want to read Nick Cave's novels, I assume they'd be pretty interesting.
I don't really care for christmas, but i'll still watch a christmas story all day.

p.s. When i'm in the shower, I'm afraid to wash my hair. (I still do anyway)